Sunday Chat: What? It's NOT about you........
I hope this morning (or evening) finds you feeling wonderful and full of energy. As you know by now, my cup is full of coffee but not just any coffee this morning. I'm enjoying a special treat, Kona, which is a little taste of Hawaii. Next to Jamaican Blue Mountain (my first favorite) it ranks second. What's warming you up this morning?
Today's topic, suggested by Brenda, one of our community members, is "Why do we think everything is about us?"
For example; the friend that doesn't return our phone call, the guy/girl that doesn't call back after the date, the co-worker that doesn't invite us to join the lunch crowd, the boss that doesn't give us the credit we deserve (or think we deserve), the angry driver, the sullen checkout person and the list can go on. We all have the ability to turn each one of these scenarios into being all about us but are they really?
Yes there are times when the situation really is all about us but more often then not we spend a great deal of our time wondering and worrying about that situation when it isn't about us.
So what do we need to do to keep from thinking, "is it about me?"
Let's look at what makes us go there in the first place, that big scary word, insecurity. We start having our doubts about what you said or did to make this situation happen. Then it snowballs into an irrational amount of worry, which may or may not turn into anger and by the time you are finished you have worked yourself into quite a frenzy. For what? For the reason of driving our insecurity even deeper into our souls, causing us to question every little thing that happens because of course, it's all about us.
Okay, let's stop, breathe and look at the bigger picture.
Most of the time when it is truly about us, we know it right away. So when the questions start and before the mind starts to race, we know the answer. If that answer isn't clear, then the search begins and this is where we need to stop and let it go. This way before you even have time to work yourself into a frenzy, just say "this is not about me" and move on.
Oh I know, saying it once will not dissolve the thought but if you can keep repeating it each time your mind starts to replay the situation then the thought will show up less and less.
Also realize that we can never fully know what is happening in someone else's life in that moment. How many times have you worked yourself up, thinking the situation is all about you, only to find out that you didn't get that call from your friend because they have been sick or the boss missed giving you credit because he/she was faced with their own personal crisis. Once you find these things out it really makes you feel crappy, doesn't it?
Each of us, every day has some challenge we are facing that the people around us may not know about and since that is true for us why would we think that it not true for others?
So besides using the mantra, "this is not about me" try to remember that you may not know that person's story and react accordingly. Wouldn't it be nice to "free up" some of that worry time to do something fun and creative? Give it a try!
I love hearing your comments on either our FB page or on the "Let's Chat" post. Hit "reply" and tell me what I can help you with on the next Chat.
Peace and love to you all,
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