Welcome to the October issue of our Helping Parents Heal Newsletter!
Hello! We are glad you have found us. This newsletter is a space that allows us to share our amazing children. We are all in this together. We understand and we walk the same path. Thank you for your compassion and for the constant support you provide. Together, we will help each other heal!
Once again, this month's newsletter contains stories of validation and spiritual growth. We hope that it will bring some peace and comfort to you and your loved ones. We have many affiliate groups available throughout the country. There is information about upcoming meetings in this newsletter. Please note that we have several new affiliates including Dallas, Hilton Head, Columbus, Sarasota, Sedona, Tucson and the Kona side of Hawaii. Photos and bios of all of our affiliate leaders are available on our website, www.helpingparentsheal.info.
Sending love, light and warm memories to each one of you as you navigate this bittersweet time. You are not alone.
-Elizabeth Boisson, Co-Founder and President of Helping Parents Heal, Newsletter Editor and Affiliate Leader for Phoenix/Scottsdale.
THANK YOU, Jamie!
Psychic Medium Jamie Clark with some of the parents & siblings who attended our meeting August 27th
Psychic Medium Jamie Clark did an amazing job of bringing through validations from our children at our August 27th meeting at Unity of Phoenix. We are fortunate that he is a strong supporter of Helping Parents Heal. Thank you, Jamie, for being such a bright light!
Special Three-Day Event at Unity of Phoenix!
After working in hospitals with many suffering and dying adults and children, Dr. Mark Pitstick was motivated to find sensible, evidence-based answers to the questions that many people ask:
- Who am I? Why am I here? Is there a God?
- What happens after I die?
- Will I see my departed loved ones again?
- Why is there so much suffering?
This experimental workshop addresses all of these questions and will help you survive and thrive through life’s biggest changes and challenges, and discover how to enjoy the greatest life you have envisioned – no matter what your current circumstances!
To learn more and to purchase advance tickets, please go to the Unity of Phoenix website. Mark will also be speaking to Helping Parents Heal-Phoenix/Scottsdale at our monthly meeting on September 24th. Please click here to RSVP!
Dr. Mark Pitstick and his book 'SoulProof'
Evolved Souls Don’t Need Long Earthly Lives
by Mark Pitstick, MA, DC
Welcome to the Helping Parents Heal Q & A. I recommend that you first read the articles that form a basis for my answers. Links to those articles are at the bottom of the www.soulproof.com home page: Foundational Articles for Healing Your Suffering.
To all bereaved family members reading this, I know that the death of a child is very difficult and I do not minimize that pain and sadness at all. At the same time, I know it can be a spiritually transformative experience. You can—moment by moment—choose to heal by awakening to your true nature (much more than the physical body), honoring their lives, serving others, and enjoying life again. That’s the balance Helping Parents Heal seeks to maintain: support for your grieving as well as encouragement and information for your healing and transforming.
I would like to honor a great teacher, Dr. Wayne Dyer, who recently changed worlds. He endorsed my book Radiant Wellness, was a guest on my radio show Soul-utions, and contributed to my book Soul Proof. Here is a relevant part of that interview:
Mark: Wayne, what do you tell parents whose little children have passed on?
Wayne: That there is no death, that’s not a possibility. We are never born and we never die. Our true essence is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. When God calls home a young person, they were only here for that amount of time because that’s all the time they chose to be here. Self-actualizing people get over death almost as if it didn’t happen because for them it doesn’t happen. Once you see that, you realize you can never be separate from them. There’s a sacred hoop that connects all of us.
Q: It’s eleven days until the two-year anniversary of my firstborn son Roland’s passing! The pain that I feel has not gotten any easier. I stay strong and keep it together for my other children, but I feel like my heart will never be repaired. When, if ever, can I expect to feel some kind of normal? I miss him so much that it hurts—real physical pain! - Shawnna
A: You’re right, Shawnna, it’s an actual ache in the chest when people grieve so deeply. That’s why the terms heartbreak and heartache are used. Pat yourself on the back for feeling that and still being strong for your other children.
You hurt, in part, because you feel so disconnected from Roland. He is pure energy and light right now . . . the high and fine energy of love, joy, peace, and seeing the big picture. You—and I am not being critical at all—are feeling very different energies: sadness, depression, pain, etc. You two obviously have a deep relationship that transcends death or you wouldn’t miss him so much. But you’re not feeling his presence—even though he may be literally right next to you quite often—because of your lower energy emotions.
Try the following exercise for just 30 days. Whenever you feel sad or bad about his passing, take three deep breaths in and out while saying or thinking:
1. Thank you for our wonderful times together and beautiful memories
2. I look forward to seeing each other again here and in the hereafter
3. I will transform myself and be happier in honor of you and our love
You may have to do that quite often in the beginning but, after awhile, taking the higher energy road will become more automatic. This, other healing strategies, serving others, and time will help you to step-by-step feel more normal.
I also recommend reading Foundational Article #7, especially the information about Natural Care to ensure that your physical heart has the nutrients and oxygen it needs. The heart is a muscle, much like your calf muscles, and can spasm or cramp if lacking key nutrients and overstressed. Please keep in touch and let us know how it’s going for you.
Q: As I am preparing for our BBQ and company coming over today, I stopped and said to myself, “What the hell are you doing and how do you do it?” Living that is . . . like nothing is wrong and nothing has changed when it has. My daughter is not here! I sometimes get tired of putting one foot in front of the other and pretending I'm okay when I'm not. This really sucks. – Diane
A: Not having your daughter around physically really sucks, Diane. You miss her physical presence, hugs, laughter, talking, and all you hoped the future would bring. It’s a horrible feeling and you wonder how you will make it through each day.
When life doesn’t turn out the way we thought it would, our initial reaction is to see that as a horrible tragedy. And, from a human perspective, it certainly seems that way. But what if 99.9% of your daughter being is really right there? (She is.) How would that change the way you live in each moment? (She’s rooting you on to do just that.)
When you were preparing for the BBQ, you may have been temporarily absorbed in the moment. That is where your daughter lives now. When we see through eyes unclouded by fear, we remember that the golden present eternal now moment is all there is.
You’re not feeling totally OK right now and that’s OK. You will some day. Read article #13 to remember who you and she really are. And the next time you find yourself enjoying life, even a little bit, say “thank you” and stay in that moment. That will remind you that your daughter really is here right now—even though you may not be able to see, hear, or feel her presence the way you did before she changed worlds.
I know the journey of a bereaved parent can be very difficult. But it’s a universal law that for every adversity, there’s an equal or even greater potential for blessings. Be that blessing to those around you and feel your daughter smiling. Please check in with us in a few months and share the good news.
Q: I know there is something called chemo brain for people going through cancer treatments. I think grief brain is exactly the same. Why do I have no short-term memory? Why can't I find where I left my car keys? Why can't I remember someone's name that I have known for 20 years? I’m hoping things will get better because this is driving me crazy! – Sheree
A: Great question, Sheree. It’s quite common for bereaved family members to report difficulty focusing or impaired memory. The brain is a very sensitive organ and can function abnormally due to the severe grief when a child transitions. An imbalanced thyroid, adrenal, or other hormonal gland can also result in low grade anxiety, difficulty sleeping well, and other symptoms that reduce your mental clarity. These imbalances can be severe if there were preexisting nutritional deficiencies and/or stresses before your child crossed over.
Fortunately, there is a safe, affordable, natural, and effective (SANE) solution called Nutrition Response Testing. I use this technique in my holistic health care practice. Visit the website www.unsinc.info to find the closest NRT practitioner near you. Also see Article #10 for some natural healing practices so you can regain your clarity. Prayer, meditation, moderate exercise, and time in nature are my personal favorite centering practices. Do this and let me know if you’re not feeling better in 60 days.
Q: Not sure if anyone can help as this isn't a new problem. I always guarded myself emotionally due to being hurt so many times. But after the past few years, I have shut my emotions off entirely and put up a wall that no one and nothing can penetrate. I finally cried tonight, four years after losing my daughter, but the trauma didn’t end there for me. Our house burned down and everything in her room was gone so I felt like I lost her again. Then my church moved and fell apart. My closest cousin, grandmother and two family friends all gained their wings. Now that I finally cried, I’m hoping things will start going back to whatever normal is now. I was wondering if anyone could relate and offer some advice. – Donna
A: Wow, Donna, that’s a string of tough events. If the saying “That which does not kill me makes me stronger” is true—and it is—you are going to be one strong person! Like you, I feel that your crying is a break through. You’ll want to keep that positive momentum going; my best self-help tool is Transformational Breath Work. Using breathing to release old wounds and remember who you are is an ancient and cross-cultural practice. Learn more about it in Article #17 under 4d.
I recommend using it three times per week for a few weeks. Be sure to have a trusted family or friend in the house for the first session so you know someone is there. Afterwards, you’ll want to be able to cry, yell, writhe around, and release all the stuck energy from being hurt in the past. After a few weeks of this, you’ll notice that you don’t cry as much and don’t feel the need for using breath work that often. That’s your sign to decrease to twice per week for several weeks. Continue spacing out your sessions to once a week, every two weeks, etc. until you’re just using it once per month for wellness maintenance.
In addition, be sure to use the various healing and transforming strategies you’ll learn by being part of Helping Parents Heal. My Foundational Articles address many of the questions and concerns that people have after going through suffering. For example, article #11 helps you realize that God didn’t put you through all that suffering and that you are, in fact, part and parcel of the Source right now. Please keep in touch and let us know how your breakthrough is going.
Note: This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. Dr. Pitstick’s recommendations are based on his forty-three years of professional training and experience in hospitals, mental health centers, and holistic private practice.
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, clinical psychologist, chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop leader who helps you know and show that—no matter what is going on around you—this earth-experience is a totally safe and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit www.soulproof.com for free radio shows with top consciousness experts, newsletters, and articles addressing life’s toughest changes and challenges. Email Mark at email@example.com to ask him your toughest and most challenging questions
-Dr. Mark Pitstick is a Board Member of Helping Parents Heal and an Affiliate Leader of our Columbus, Ohio HPH Group and our Sarasota, Florida HPH Group.
Words to Inspire from Ernie and Kristine Jackson
Ernie and Kristine
Lindy and the Rabbits
While at work in Denver, I went downstairs to refill my water jug and to get some ice, but the ice machine wasn’t working. I wasn’t put out because the water from the water dispenser was cool and after all, it was no big deal. I mean really, with what I have seen and with this hard-earned knowledge, I know there are far worse things to deal with.
There I saw Lindy who is an office manager of sorts. As I commented on the ice machine she lamented that, “Yes, I have gotten an earful over that”. I asked what she meant and she told me that many were up in arms over the absence of ice. I laughed and she laughed right along with me because we know there are far worse things than an absence of ice.
I shared about Quinton’s transition, about losing our son and smiled. So they think they have it bad. Hmmm, maybe we should convene an office meeting so I can share what 'bad' is. But if I share that piece, I have to share the good stuff too; I would have to share that Quinton demonstrates forcefully and often that there is more. I laughed again and asked if she thought such a meeting might be worthwhile.
And then she shared her own two experiences with tragedy. Her husband had transitioned years prior and then six months after her husband, her son transitioned. What a double whammy; how awful. All I could say was, “I am so sorry; you have my condolences”. And then I asked my standard question in response to the transition of a loved one, “Did they send you any signs?”
It can be risky even asking, but I take that risk as it is a conversation that truly needs to happen today, in this day and age. While I say risky, the only real risk is that the person being asked say, “no”, but even then, often there is a chance for a dialogue about just how subtle the signs can be. But Lindy had something amazing to share.
Lindy indicated that she had never seen rabbits in her yard while her family was complete. Yes, I know you may argue and rationalize in an effort not to be touched by the awe, wonder and amazement of what is coming that they were there all along but she didn’t notice them. However after her husband transitioned, she often noticed one rabbit in the front yard. When she first noticed this solitary rabbit, she immediately thought of her transitioned husband. This went on until her son transitioned and then she noticed that the solitary rabbit was joined by a second. She knew it was her husband and her son. She moved me to goosebumps and I got teary-eyed. Her story was so powerful and it got even better!
At some point after her son transitioned and the two rabbits appeared in her front yard, she went to visit a family member somewhere in a different state. One early evening after dinner she went out into the front yard and what did she see? She saw two rabbits!
She asked her family member if she had ever seen rabbits anywhere on her property before. And of course, the answer was no!
And this is part of the magic, part of the divine dichotomy of losing loved ones. They are no longer with us in their physical form, but they can send us signs. Some of those signs are bodacious and some subtle. Celebrate them and feel the love for us that they represent.
-Ernie and Kristine Jackson
-Ernie Jackson is a Board Member of Helping Parents Heal and the proud father of Quinton. His two books,"Quinton's Messages' and 'Quinton's Legacy', are available at www.quintonsmessages.com.
Please also view Ernie and Kristine's video of their June presentation at the Phoenix/Scottsdale Chapter of Helping Parents Heal here.
South Carolina and Hawaii Affiliates
Irene Vouvalides - Affiliate Leader in Hilton Head, GA and Beth D'Angelo, Affiliate Leader on the Kona Side of the Big Island, HI.
Signs of Healing in San Antonio
This is from an email written by our affiliate leader, Beth D'Angelo, about the 2015 IANDS Conference that she and Irene Vouvalides attended in San Antonio this month from September 3rd- 6th. We are thrilled that both Beth and Irene will be affiliate leaders of chapters of Helping Parents Heal; Beth in Hawaii and Irene in South Carolina. Beth also presented at the conference. Please watch this amazing video about Irene's healing by Psychic Medium Suzanne Giesemann, a presenter at the IANDS Conference.
Aloha Family and Friends,
I wanted to let you know that I am back on the Big Island after an amazing experience in San Antonio. First of all - San Antonio feels much like the aloha, culture and spirituality we felt when we moved to Hawaii. Staying downtown, overlooking River Walk was gorgeous and a gift from Sal ( Irene's father). The airport, taxi, vendors and people I encountered off site felt warm, loving and benevolent to all of attending this conference.
One of the main reasons to go to San Antonio was to meet Irene, a person I reached out to after I heard about her daughter dying in 2013. A guest of the Four Seasons shared her story with me and I did what I do - I wrote to Irene. Sent her an Angel bracelet.. She reached back to me and that started a friendship that has been a gift to both of us. This particular conference was one we chose to attend and to meet for the first time. We were roommates; shared not only stories but space, toothpaste, protein bars...and laughed so hard on a couple of occasions that still causes me to giggle!
That is true connection. I will cherish this friendship and room with her anytime under any conditions!
Connection spilled over numerous times with meeting John from Australia, the Sisters of the Holy Spirit Convent, Ed Reeves, Brian and Dana, meeting Suzanne Giesemann, sitting with another Keynote Speaker and sharing a thoughtful "Ah-ha" moments with another speaker - the arrival of Katie from Boise and Joanne from outside Chicago (girlfriends supporting me) - I learned how to connect with people from my mother - who is still my North Star ( and she also had an NDE, Near Death Experience in the mid 60's).
I went to this conference wanting some clarity in what in the world am I suppose to do NOW. Anita Moorjani answered this for me in her talk. I am doing what is needed already. The answers will be revealed as they always have.
Suzanne fielded a question for me: "Listen to your heart. Trust your intuition. Believe. Train your brain to receive..."
I came away not having the answers but having all the answers😇.
After the unexpected death of my second child, I found myself on a path that I never expected to experience. I am the one who comforted others; the one who reached out to those who were shattered. Certainly that was my purpose, to be of service to another when their life changed. Life had other plans and I found myself trying to find purpose and meaning after my own loss.
I am currently researching and organizing a future support group of Helping Parents Heal on the Kona side of the Big Island of Hawaii. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Helping Parents Heal found me after I reached out to Irene and she reached back to me. That created a bond that has proven to be indestructible and seeped in love, purpose and sense of direction that has taken over my heart. My son has guided me to recognize that I have always had the courage, strength and resiliency to hold another's story despite what I had to experience. That has given me the inspiration to "grow hope" in another.
I am still coated in light and I like it💛💫. ( Sean is beaming). And Sean is saying: this is only the beginning, Mom😇.
Irene- you and I are in this together!!!
In Hope and Promise,
Upcoming Speakers for Phoenix Scottsdale Affiliate
Dr. Mark Pitstick, Yogi Thaddeus Ferguson, Psychic Medium Jack Mario, Psychic Medium Susanne Wilson
News from our Florida Affiliate
Kristen Brown Sanders-Affiliate Leader
A Meeting in Honor of Wayne Dyer
Kristen had a wonderful September meeting and shared some of her ideas for other affiliate groups. The evening was in honor of Wayne Dyer who has helped so many of us. She gave parents this handout by Wayne Dyer:
The Last Thing I Do Before Going to Sleep at Night by Wayne Dyer
In ‘Wishes Fulfilled’ I wrote about the importance of the last five minutes of the day, just prior to going into a long restful sleep. These precious pre-sleep moments can be utilized by either reviewing all of the things in your life which make you unhappy, frustrated and anxious, or they can be used to program your subconscious mind with thoughts of joy, kindness, gratitude and anticipation of having your wishes fulfilled.
This sign, which hangs on my bed is the very last thing that I see before I go into my sleep mode. As I lie in bed I review in my mind my appreciation for the I AM PRESENCE that is always with me. I know that good things are not only going to happen, but they are happening to me and all around me.
I remind myself every night in these portentous pre-slumber moments what is offered in the Book of Job (33: 15-16)..."In a dream, in a vision of the night, while slumbering on their beds, then He opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction."
For me personally, I enter my slumber with a conviction that GOOD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN. I beseech you to go into your sleep mode by using your mind to assume the feeling of your wishes being fulfilled. This is the beginning of a reprogramming of your subconscious mind.
Remember that the last thought you have in your mind can last up to four hours in your subconscious mind. Create a reminder like a prayer or mantra to place by your bed. Read these words as you get comfortable. As you drift off to sleep keep telling yourself “Good things are going to happen”.
The last 5 minutes before you go to sleep hugely influence your life because, as you are moving from waking consciousness to sleep, your subconscious mind is alert and highly impressionable. So whatever you visualize before you fall asleep is readily assimilated by your subconscious mind as truth, so you need to make sure it is something positive!
After reading the handout, parents created an uplifting wall hanging like the one pictured above to hang by their own beds. Kristen had brought the supplies from Michaels. What an uplifting healing evening!
News from our NYC Affiliate
Sheri Perl Migdol, our NYC Affiliate leader and parents at her September meeting
The New York City Chapter of Helping Parents Heal had a great meeting on September 13, 2015. It’s always wonderful to come together with other parents who KNOW what this experience is, and who are willing to freely share their thoughts and ideas with each other. In this way, we help each other heal!
-Sheri Perl, NYC Affiliate Leader
Wisdom and Quotes from The East Coast
Sheri’s Corner-Wisdom and Quotes from the East Coast
“Well, your misery can only bring me down because it fills me with remorse. I understand your dilemma, but understand mine. If you want to help me, to lift me up, then lift yourself up and you lift us both up.“
-Daniel Migdol-an excerpt from “Lost and Found---A Mother Connects-Up With Her Son In Spirit.”
These words, which came to me one morning when I was feeling extremely down in the dumps, made me sit up and think! They made a lot of sense to me, especially in my son’s case where he passed by his own hand. Knowing guilt all too well in my own life, I could easily understand feeling remorse if my actions had brought so much pain to so many. But how was I to lift myself? What a tall task, yet as his mother, how could I not try?
For the first time it really struck me that what I feel and do still affects Danny. This seemed radical to me, even though I had believed in the presence of spirit for a long time. Now I wondered how I could possibly think that Danny existed but was without any feelings.
When I asked myself if there was any way that I could lift my spirits, I found myself confronted with enormous resistance to feeling better. There was almost an unspoken understanding that if Danny could not enjoy a good meal that I certainly shouldn’t either. It seemed sacrilegious to do anything that my son couldn’t do and even my breathing had become shallow.
However, now I felt obligated to think about Dan’s words because they made sense. If I accepted that he had gone on (and I had), how could I negate his feelings? Wouldn’t I feel remorse if my actions, accidental or otherwise, had brought about so much suffering to the people I loved?
From that time on I concluded that I would do everything I could to “lift myself up” in order to set his soul free! First and foremost we are parents and we have always put our children's needs first, so why not now?
-Written by our NYC Affiliate Leader, Sheri Perl Migdol
Please visit Sheri's Prayer Registry here.
Tucson - Unity of Tucson
This special event is being held at Unity of Tucson, the meeting location for our Tucson affiliate, on September 23rd, 2015. Please call Unity, 520-577-3300 to learn more and to reserve a seat. Thank you, Janice Crowder-Torrez, for letting us know!
Please click here to learn more.
Helpful, Healing Books
Fara Gibson Psychic Medium and her book, 'Looking Into The Windows of Heaven"
One of our Parent members in Mesa, Arizona, recommended that I get in touch with Fara Gibson who had kindly gifted her with a reading that was filled with validations.
Speaking with Fara by phone was a peaceful, joyful experience and she gave me many signs that my own son, Morgan, was with us as we spoke. Fara has written a healing book entitled 'Looking Into The Windows of Heaven Through The Eyes of Psychic/Medium Fara Gibson' It is easy to read and offers compassionate advice about how to survive the loss of a loved one.
The following is from the back cover of Fara's book: "My name is Fara Gibson. I was born with a beautiful ability given to me by God to connect people here in the physical world with their loved ones that have passed on to Heaven. I am a Psychic/Medium. This book is a journey through my eyes with the help of my Spirit Guides and God as I answer your questions about Heaven. May you find the answers you seek within the pages of this book. "
Please visit Fara's website, to learn more about this book and about Fara.
The Helping Parents Heal website lists many good books about grief that have been read and recommended by other bereaved parents. Please click this link to view the different books. Also, please email your own favorite healing book so that we can possibly add it to the list. The address is: email@example.com.
Mission Statement of Helping Parents Heal:
Our mission is to help parents who have lost children, giving them support and resources to aid in the healing process. We will go a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and evidence for the Afterlife in a non-dogmatic way. In other words, we will welcome everyone regardless of their religious (or non-religious) background and allow for a very open type of dialog. We receive all and do not judge people or their children on the basis of life choices.
-Mark Ireland, Cofounder, Helping Parents Heal
Note: Information in the Helping Parents Heal newsletter is provided for the sole purpose of assisting you in finding resources (information, meetings, books, etc.) to aid in the bereavement process. This newsletter is not intended to endorse, sponsor or encourage your use of any of the information or services listed, whether from members or other individuals. Rather, our intent is simply to inform you of vast amount of resources available for your consideration. We urge you to independently research and consider the value any particular resource for yourself. Further, while we take steps to ensure accuracy of the information posted, especially relative to linked media, we accept no liability for content. Helping Parents Heal is a non-profit Corporation.