Welcome to the July Mid Month issue of our Helping Parents Heal Newsletter!
Hello! We are glad you have found us. This newsletter is a space that allows us to share our amazing children. We are all in this together. We understand and we walk the same path. Thank you for your compassion and for the constant support you provide. Together, we will help each other heal!
Once again, this month's newsletter contains stories of validation and spiritual growth. We hope that it will bring some peace and comfort to you and your loved ones. We have many new affiliate groups that are now available throughout the country. There is information about upcoming meetings in this newsletter. Photos and bios of all of our affiliate leaders are available on our website, www.helpingparentsheal.info.
Sending love, light and warm memories to each one of you as you navigate this bittersweet time. You are not alone.
-Elizabeth Boisson, Co-Founder and President of Helping Parents Heal, Newsletter Editor and Affiliate Leader for Phoenix/Scottsdale.
An uplifting meeting of Helping Parents Heal Phoenix/Scottsdale with Guest Speakers Kristine and Errnie Jackson on June 25th.
Validations from Tyler Allen
Nita Erickson, Elizabeth Boisson, Carol Allen, Kim Camacho and Catherine Camacho from the Phoenix/Scottsdale Chapter of Helping Parents Heal
It is always difficult to add a member to this group that no one wants to join. However, each time that I meet someone who has had a child transition, I feel that we have always been friends. Carol Allen is the mother of an amazing young man named Tyler Allen from Cave Creek, AZ who passed in a motorcycle accident on May 14th, 2015. He is loved by all who knew him in this small town. A few weeks ago, his Dad visited Tyler's favorite hiking spot and filmed a short video. In it, a clearly-visible orb slowly makes its way from right to left and then back again. It is obvious that Tyler joined his Dad on the hike. Even more amazing, when Tony speaks Tyler's name, the orb suddenly lights up and glows. Please take a minute to view the video-I have provided a link below. Sending all of you love and light. May your days be filled with validations and warm memories of your beautiful children.
Tyler spreads his Angel Wings at his favorite hiking spot - Tyler and his beautiful smile
Words to Inspire from Ernie and Kristine JacksonErnie and Kristine with Quinton at The Astrology Store in Glendale, AZ
Six years after the death of my son Quinton, I am a father who is just beginning to grieve. I cried immediately after the accident, but have kept a lid on it since. Kristine says I still haven’t really grieved yet, so any time I actually feel emotions – it is a good thing! This week of Quinton’s 6th anniversary angel date has been an emotional week and all of those emotions are along the same vein: Hope, not losing it and if you have lost it, regaining it; just how truly magnificent we are; and faith.
Hope and Faith are the culmination, the icing on the cake so to speak, of this week. Coming back from Rocky Point where we remembered Quinton in one of his favorite places as we do every year, we heard a song on the radio titled: One Man Can Change the World by Big Sean, Kanye West and John Legend and I cried. I heard it again after Church at Unity on June 14th. Why am I crying?
Kristine and I went to see the Disney movie Tomorrow Land on Saturday July 13th. I had no idea what to expect other than a knowing that I needed to see it. At the same time, I understood that it isn’t doing well in the theaters and a friend of ours told us not to go. We went and I cried again through much of the movie. Why am I crying?
I cry as I feel the loss, as I feel down, as I miss my son. I cry because I feel as if there is a wet, stifling blanked draped over me, pushing me down. I cry because I realize my faith and hope is at a low ebb. I cry because I know it is in my power to choose to remove the stifling blanket and reclaim my hope and my faith. In its own time; not to force it but to allow it.
The song and movie both remind me of the power I have; the power we all have. Yes, we are grieving parents, but the power remains, maybe dormant or perhaps simply misdirected.
I came across this passage in The Trust Frequency by Andrew Cameron Baily and Connie Baxter Marlow. It touched me as I have seen the below played out recently in my own life. The book isn’t about grieving; instead it is about living.
“There is a very big difference vibrationally, between mentally visualizing something while hoping and praying that it will manifest on one hand and deeply knowing that it is so while taking committed action accordingly".
‘The emotional and mental state and therefore the frequency of the latter is completely different from the former and this is what distinguishes the two”.
Here is to knowing how magnificent we are! Here is to knowing that we have living to do, a difference to make in the lives of others. Here is to knowing that there is purpose to our lives, even though we miss our child…
Much love and many Blessings!
-Ernie Jackson is a Board Member of Helping Parents Heal and the proud father of Quinton. His second book, 'Quinton's Legacy', is available at www.quintonsmessages.com.
Dr. Mark Pitstick and his book 'SoulProof'
Evolved Souls Don’t Need Long Earthly Lives
July Mid Month 2015
by Mark Pitstick, MA, DC
Welcome to the Helping Parents Heal Q & A. I recommend that you first read the foundational articles that form a basis for my answers. Links to those articles are located at the bottom of my website home page www.soulproof.com under Soul Proof Articles and also under Healing Articles by Dr. Pitstick.
Q: Does one ever truly heal after losing a child? How does one not let something so profoundly tragic and life altering not allow it to define who they have become? It’s been two years and I have tried so many different things and nothing seems to help. They say something like this will either make you bitter or better. - Nancy
A: Nancy, I wish you and others didn’t have to go through all of this. The big question is whether death—even that of a child—is random/senseless or timely/meaningful. Your answer to that question makes all the difference.
To answer your questions, you can truly heal after your child transitions to the next phase of forever. (By the way, that’s a much more accurate of what really happens versus “I lost my child.) There’s a spectrum of responses by bereaved parents:
1. Some never recover and spend many years or the rest of their lives being angry, sad, isolated, and incapacitated
2. Some recover to a certain extent, but still feel sadness, fear, and bitterness
3. Others find the silver lining to this cloud and rejoin the flow of life. They honor their child’s life and death in meaningful ways by serving others. They are excited about seeing their departed loved one again some day. And they have gratitude for the wonderful memories and time together.
That’s how you don’t let it define who you are now.
Taking this high road is, ultimately, a choice. As with every aspect of life, we always have the ability to choose whether we see the glass as half-full or half-empty. It takes practice, especially if you’ve been exposed to others with limited thinking, but it’s possible.
I recommend reading 7 Keys to Fine Tune Your Body/Mind. Please keep in touch and let us know if you have any other questions. You aren’t alone in this journey. Best wishes, Mark
Q: I was doing OK and then it hit . . . ANXIETY. I was driving home from work and not thinking about it until I got on the freeway where my son had his car accident. He was on his way home from work that morning and was less than a mile away from home. Questions always go through my mind: what if he left a few minutes later, what if the emergency crew arrived a little quicker, all the what ifs drive me crazy. I miss him so much and it hurts so extremely bad. He died alone and I wasn't there to hold his hand and tell him it was OK. I brought him into this world and wasn't there to see him go. I hate that I couldn't protect him from this. Does he know I was at the hospital kissing him and hugging him good-bye? I wish he could tell me he knows that I didn't leave him. My son passed away on a Friday and almost every Thursday, I get severe anxiety that doesn't go away until the weekend is over. Why did my baby have to go? - Tammy
A: Wow, Tammy, I can feel your pain and anxiety through your letter. It must be awful to feel like that so much. Let’s see if we can shed just a little light into your life and then help it become brighter and bigger. Here are six recommendations:
1. You’re right, all the “what ifs” will drive you crazy. One simple behavior modification technique is to wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it hard every time you find yourself falling into “I should have, would have, could have.” That kind of thinking doesn’t help anything and only keeps you in a hellish state.
2. Know with all your heart that he didn’t die alone. We each are surrounded by what I call the heavenly support team: angels, guides, soul mates, departed ancestors, and the Light. They are especially out in force when someone is transitioning. They were and are certainly there to help him and you.
3. Yes, his soul knew that you were there with him, even if it didn’t seem like it.
4. He is trying to tell you that he knows you didn’t leave him and much more good news. But he can’t get through while you are so anxious and sad. Those lower energy emotions are on a very different wavelength than the peace and joy he is feeling. Meditate, walk in nature, do whatever helps you calm your mind to set the stage for hearing him.
5. He died because it was his time to move on into the next phase of eternity. You will see him again so it’s a ‘see you later’, not a ‘good-bye.’ It sounds as though you two were super close so he chose to pass when you weren’t there. It was difficult to leave you and he didn’t want you to suffer any more than you already were.
I’d definitely read the articles listed above and find a Nutrition Response Testing practitioner who can help fine-tune your body and brain to decrease your anxiety. Sometimes, just some calming minerals and omega-3 oils make a big difference.
6. If you’re in Phoenix, do you go to the Helping Parents Heal meetings there? Do you attend a heart-centered church and/or service group? You need a support system of people who understand and are also working to heal and transform.
You are in the thoughts and prayers of many people. Please check in now and then and let us hear your progress. Peace, Mark
Q: I need some help to keep hanging on. I'm having a tragic meltdown since earlier today. I feel like giving up. There’s too much pain to keep going and I just want to let go of everything. I just want to be with my son Mathew and can't take it anymore. How do I get past this? I don't want to hurt myself, but I can't take this excruciating heartache! Please someone give me a reason to hang on. I never ask for help but I am now. - Louise
A: Thank you, Louise, for describing so well what some bereaved parents feel. It’s an indescribable pain and you have every right to feel the heartache. You want a reason to hang on? I’ll give you four:
1. Matthew can feel your sadness and pain. He wants you to be happy and know that he is very near and rooting you on. But he can’t make you feel happy. So get through this tough time in style for him.
2. Find a way to serve others in Matthew’s name. That honors and gives more meaning to his life and death. Every person you help in any way will then receive a gift from Matthew and an expression of your love.
3. Hang on for your other loved ones. They have been through the pain of your son’s death. You surely don’t want to add the grief of your suicide to that.
4. Work through this for yourself. You deserve to feel happy and healthy again. That will allow Matthew to stop worrying about you from the Other Side. As with all of the mothers above, I recommend holistic health care to help lessen your severe pain.
For every difficulty, there’s an opportunity for an equal or even greater blessing. Let us know when and how you find it. Warm regards, Mark
Q: If ranting is not allowed please delete me, but I am so sick of people telling me I need to move forward and get on with my own life since my son passed. I want to scream at them. I am dealing with things in my way at my speed. I spent the last five years on the roller coaster that is mental illness. My panic/anxiety attacks are frequent and worse than ever. I cry every day. I am not obsessed but I am disgusted by a broken-beyond-repair system that should have helped him. He wanted change and now I am his only voice. AHHHHHHHHHHH . . . end rant. - Gloria
A: You’re in luck, Gloria. Ranting is allowed and even encouraged in our group. We understand that each parent must grieve and recover—or not—in his or her own way and time.
It’s healthy to ventilate and release those difficult emotions. Native Americans used to dig a hole, yell their frustrations into it, then cover up the hole. You can use primal scream techniques such as yelling into a pillow or hitting a couch with a whiffle ball bat. And anytime you want to rant, just remember you aren’t the only one and it’s OK.
I hope you find a great Nutrition Response Testing practitioner to help. In my practice, I’ve helped many people with panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. It’s a very Safe, Affordable, Natural, and Effective (SANE) way to get well again.
Another way to release pent up emotions is Transformational Breathwork. It’s another time-tested way to remember that you are an important part of God/Life and that death is just another totally safe phase in infinity. You can get a CD or download the technique off my website here.
Please let us know how you are doing. You obviously have a lot of energy. You can learn to direct that passion toward healing and changing the system that failed your son. Over time, you can upgrade your life to bless yourself and others. Please keep in touch. Blessings, Mark
Note: This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. Dr. Pitstick’s recommendations are based on his forty-three years of professional training and experience in hospitals, mental health centers, and holistic private practice.
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, clinical psychologist, chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop leader who helps you know and show that—no matter what is going on around you—your earth-experience is a totally safe and magnificent adventure amidst forever. You’ll receive access to interviews with top consciousness experts and a series of free articles addressing life’s toughest changes and challenges—including a child dying—when you sign up for his free newsletter at www.soulproof.com. Email Mark at firstname.lastname@example.org to ask him your toughest and most challenging questions
Suggested website: www.Eternea.org
Eternea was created by Dr. Eben Alexander and John Audette of IANDS. Dr. Gary Schwartz is the director. Dr. Mark Pitstick is a contributing author and will be moderating a forum for suffering people through Eternea. It is a remarkable organization that discusses the many benefits of synthesizing science and spirituality. To learn more, please visit its website at www.eternea.org.
Upcoming New Group July Meetings-
Silver City Helping Parents Heal Affiliate
Denise Kennedy's son Eric and his adorable friend
Please join Denise for the first meeting of Helping Parents Heal - Silver City, NM on July 1st. You can RSVP here.
Dallas Helping Parents Heal Affiliate
Jessica and Tracy Venters
Tracy Venters, our Dallas Affiliate Leader, has created a beautiful new website for her chapter with a blog about bereavement. Please visit it at: www.hphdallas.com. Tracy will hold her first meeting on July 14th; please RSVP here.
Ben's Bells,Phoenix-July 7th from 1:30-2:30 pm
Please join us for a special meeting of Helping Parents Heal at the new Phoenix studio of Ben's Bells, 417 E. Roosevelt Street. We kindly request a $5 'love donation' for this meeting that will be given to Ben's Bells to help fund its kindness projects. Please RSVP here, and hope to see you there!
Helpful, Healing Books
Many of you have requested that I post a list of good books here in the newsletter. I am happy to say that we have a page on our website that lists many uplifting books that have been read and recommended by other bereaved parents. Please click this link to view the different books. Also, please email your own favorite healing books so that we can possibly add it to the list! email@example.com.
Upcoming Presenters for Helping Parents Heal - Phoenix/Scottsdale:
Jamie Clark, Dr. Mark Pitstick, Thaddeus Ferguson and Susanne Wilson
August 27th-Psychic Medium Jamie Clark - Click here to RSVP
September 24th-Dr. Mark Ptistick - Click here to RSVP
October 22nd-Yogi Thaddeus Ferguson - Click here to RSVP
January 28th - Psychic Medium Susanne Wilson - Click here to RSVP
Please note-we will not be holding a July meeting in Phoenix/Scottsdale.
Wisdom and Quotes from The East Coast
Sheri’s Corner-Wisdom and Quotes from the East Coast
“I’m not asking you to believe anything. I’m simply telling you what I believe. And I have no idea what the next life will be like. Whatever I saw was only from the doorway, so to speak. But it was enough to convince me totally of two things from that moment on: One, that our consciousness does not cease with physical death; that it becomes, in fact, keener and more aware than ever. And secondly, that how we spend our time on earth, the kind of relationships we build, is vastly more important than we can know.”
NDEr George G. Ritchie, M.D., summarizing his famous near-death experience which helped launch the near-death experience movement.
When a few people have the same vision, we can call it a hallucination, however, when millions of people report the same or similar experience, it’s time to start paying attention!
I believe that knowledge of the afterlife brings solace by allowing us to learn about where our children are now and where we will one day also be. I believe that losing a child is a direct sign-post on the road of life, to take the path of spiritual exploration.
If you take that path, I believe you will find the evidence to support the existence of an extraordinary afterlife that awaits each of us, where we will be reunited with those we love. I think that the more you learn, the less you will fear. That has been the case for me.
If you are interested in reading about NDE’s, some books I recommend are: “Proof of Heaven-A Neurosurgeon’s Journey Into The Afterlife” by Eben Alexander M.D., “Dying To Be Me” by Anita Moorjani and “Life After Life” by Dr. Raymond A. Moody, Jr.
-Written by our NYC Affiliate Leader, Sheri Perl Migdol
Sheri will be holding a meeting of Helping Parents Heal - NYC on July 19th. Please RSVP here.
Please visit Sheri's Prayer Registry here.
Would you like to share a story of validation or healing with other Parents?
We are all able to heal when we share personal stories about our children with others. Moreover, everyone benefits from validations that we receive from our children. We love to hear about them! If you have a story that you would like to share about your child, please let us know and we will include it in a future newsletter. Please send it to Elizabeth Boisson at firstname.lastname@example.org (Due to space limitations, please be sure it is no longer than 1 page.)
Also, if you have not yet done so, please send me your child's full name, Birthday and Angel Date so that I can add him or her to our list of children on our Facebook Site. We pay tribute to our children on their special dates with a favorite photo and a description of their lives. Please send all information to Elizabeth at email@example.com.
Mission statement of Helping Parents Heal:
Our mission is to help parents who have lost children, giving them support and resources to aid in the healing process. We will go a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and evidence for the Afterlife in a non-dogmatic way. In other words, we will welcome everyone regardless of their religious (or non-religious) background and allow for a very open type of dialog. We receive all and do not judge people or their children on the basis of life choices.
-Mark Ireland, Co-Founder, Helping Parents Heal
Sending peace, love and white light to you and your beautiful children
Note: Information in the Helping Parents Heal newsletter is provided for the sole purpose of assisting you in finding resources (information, meetings, books, etc.) to aid in the bereavement process. This newsletter is not intended to endorse, sponsor or encourage your use of any of the information or services listed, whether from members or other individuals. Rather, our intent is simply to inform you of vast amount of resources available for your consideration. We urge you to independently research and consider the value any particular resource for yourself. Further, while we take steps to ensure accuracy of the information posted, especially relative to linked media, we accept no liability for content. Helping Parents Heal is a non-profit Corporation.
Elizabeth Boisson Co-F0under/ firstname.lastname@example.org
Mark Ireland Co-Founder/ email@example.com
Doryce Norwood / firstname.lastname@example.org
Ernie Jackson / email@example.com
Dr. Mark Pitstick / firstname.lastname@example.org
Treasurer: Celia Cheves-Edwards / email@example.com
Secretary: Laurie Savoie / firstname.lastname@example.org