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Taylor Mason Beat

RainMicrophone

This A short play in one act, featuring TAYLOR MASON, THE DONKEY and THE ELEPHANT.
 
(Open on TAYLOR, DONKEY and ELEPHANT sitting on steps outside a large brick-and-cement institutional building)
 
TAYLOR: Those clouds look like rain, guys.
(All three look into the distance and nod)
DONKEY: I keep telling you, the climate is changing every day. We’ve never had this much rain.
ELEPHANT: Rain is good. It helps crops grow and feeds people. 
TAYLOR: We should probably go inside.
DONKEY: Rain is good, I agree. We should make a law so that it rains every day.
ELEPHANT: That’s my idea! “Rain is good!” If we make a law, I want credit for it.
TAYLOR: I think I felt a drop of rain....
ELEPHANT: Don’t be such a sissy. A little rain never hurt anyone.
DONKEY: Why don’t I feel any? That isn’t fair. If one person feels rain, we should all feel rain. I want to feel your rain!
ELEPHANT: Where is a bucket? I could collect it and sell it!
DONKEY: If you start selling rainwater I’m going to tax it!
TAYLOR: OK, you guys argue all you want, but I’m telling you it’s starting to drizzle.
DONKEY: I felt some! Wait… this is proof that the climate has changed! It was sunny and nice a minute ago. Now it’s starting to rain! I’m telling you this is proof there is climate change! Don’t deny it!
ELEPHANT: I need more data. Just because you two think you felt a few drops of moisture doesn’t mean it’s raining.
DONKEY: (Sees a person putting up an umbrella across the street) Is that an umbrella? 
ELEPHANT: I’m going to invest in umbrellas right now and make a fortune selling umbrellas so people don’t get wet! If it really is rain, I’ll raise the price and make a little extra.
DONKEY: It isn’t right that he has an umbrella and we don’t. I want a law that demands everyone must own an umbrella.
ELEPHANT: (Puts out a leg and feels rain) OK but I’m not so certain this really is rain....
DONKEY: And the only people who can sell umbrellas are donkeys. Yes! Everyone must own an umbrella and all umbrella sales have to go through me!
ELEPHANT: I don’t want to buy an umbrella from you! I want to make umbrellas and charge high prices for ‘em!
TAYLOR: It is now raining hard, you guys. I’m going inside.
(A large clap of thunder startles the three, and TAYLOR gets up to go. The DONKEY and the ELEPHANT keep dialoguing)
DONKEY: Was that lightning?
ELEPHANT: Duh! 
Bongo Player
DONKEY: That is more proof of climate change! I’ve never seen such aggressive lightning! It’s too dangerous! We need to outlaw it!
ELEPHANT: A little rain and lightning can’t hurt me! There is no proof that this is even rain! That might not have been lightning! It might have been a light from an airplane! This moisture might just be condensation dripping from an air conditioner on the 51st floor!
TAYLOR: What are you talking about? This is a downpour! I’m going inside right now.
DONKEY: Yes! Inside! An escape from the rain! I want to make a law that everyone has to go inside if it rains, and you have to go to a building authorized by me, and you have to pay to get inside! 
ELEPHANT: (dripping wet) I haven’t yet decided if this is really rain at all. 
TAYLOR has left and gone inside. The ELEPHANT and DONKEY continue to argue, in the pouring rain, forever.
 
Thanks for reading!
Taylor

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