"Keep on rolling... Roll with the changes."
- Kevin Cronin of REO Speedwagon
For the most part, I am keeping up. I'm in the loop with most of the technological advances, and I roll with the changes that come with hi-tech machines and other advancements.
You have to be flexible and willing to attack the learning curve that comes with progress.
It's unthinkable that for hundreds - no, thousands! - of years, a man and a woman would have children, and raise them knowing life would be very similar to what their parent's lives were.
That quaint, old-world, simplicity is mired in the last century.
I mean it is very, very yesterday.
Because now we all grow up knowing that life in the next decade, or year, or hour, will be very different than it is now.
And it might be scary.
That's not to say I'm scared of the future, exactly. I love the fact that when someone says, "Let me google that," what they really mean is: "Give me 45 seconds to take counsel with the sum total of all accumulated human knowledge and get right back to you." Better yet, it's fun to throw non-sequiturs together and see what google gives you (Ex: "Mother Teresa-Topless-Never Mind" gives you the album cover to Nirvana's breakthrough grunge recording . COOL!).
I'm not scared of the tech, either. Robots? They're here, people, and they're not going away. Self-driving cars? Uh, not to rain on the proverbial black parade, but ask the American farmer about self-driving vehicles and he'll tell you they've been around for decades, FYI. Drones? Yes, I know they've become a creepy kind of military weapon that bring death and mayhem without risking the lives of one's own personnel, but they're also just like the robots and self-driving cars: part of life and we're gonna be using them.
So no, none of that frightens me.
My fears are based on more immediate and personal reasons. I can't tell stories and exaggerations any more at the dinner table with family and friends without someone grabbing their iPad 2 during dessert to obliterate everything I said with a "fact check" or "search." This invariably unmasks the truth and exposes my, uh, flights of fancy, with facts and data that refute everything I said.
THAT is what scares me.
Oh, and the fact that every once in a while I'll be reading a book, a hardcover copy of Thomas Wolfe's "Kingdom of Speech," as a case-in-point, and my brain will snap. I'll be pushing the top of a page with my forefinger, trying to access the toolbar, when my wife will notice. "Wrong kind of handheld," she'll say offhandedly, flipping the page of the book she's reading with a forefinger, looking at me for a moment then shaking her head.
It's that kind of stuff that scares me. The old world (pre-personal computers and iPhones) bumping into the new. I feel like one of those raiders in an Egyptian tomb, trying to decipher a giant wall of hieroglyphics.
My mother used to say, "Fine, I'll leave you to your own devices" as a figure of speech. That saying has a whole new world meaning now.
Come see me in the future! Saturday, October 1st as a matter of fact! I'll be at The Comedy Cabaret in Doylestown, PA. Show starts at 8:30pm! Tix here.
Thanks for reading!