The LELO Mona Wave is a dud (of course), Jimmyjane thinks they can do electrostim now, and much more!
Epiphora's Snark Digest

Hello, peeps.

Welcome to the fifteenth edition of my Snark Digest! Below you'll find summaries of the latest posts on my blog, my untethered thoughts on newly-released toys, the stupidest email(s) I received recently, and enjoyable links. 

#notpeeRecently, I got 15 minutes of internet fame after I wrote a post and created a hashtag, #notpee, in response to a scientific study claiming that female ejaculate is "essentially urine." The universe found out about it and it was discussed on Cosmo, Playboy, The Daily Dot, and Dr. Drew. Summation of the hoopla can be found here.

This edition brought to you by Pjur.



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Jack-off Journal #18

Jack-off Journal #18

My most revealing journal yet, in which I jack off to incest porn, creepers, and a British guy talking dirty.
Minna Limon

Review: Minna Limon

I can't love it. The Limon vibrates my hand to pieces and doesn't have nearly enough intensity levels. Also, it's not yellow.
Attention, Aussies: MissX rules

Attn, Aussies: MissX rules

It's not every day you come across a sex shop that cares about ethics and customer satisfaction.
The Girl Next Door (2004)

Movie Night: The Girl Next Door

One of my favorite comedies, a teen sex comedy, makes me nostalgic in the best possible way.
Pipedream Ceramix No. 4

Review: Ceramix No. 4

If you're going to abandon your morals, you should at least get a good sex toy in return. This is not a good one.
How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

How I know squirting is real (and not pee)

New "research" finds that ejaculate is "essentially" urine. I say they're "essentially" wrong.
LELO Mona Wave

Review: LELO Mona Wave

I'm not in the business of rating sex toys on what they could be if only they tried harder. Sorry, Mona Wave.
Jopen Key Ceres Lace

Review: Jopen Ceres Lace

It's highly textured, but is it highly stimulating? Yes, a little too stimulating. (Plus bonus "noise-proof tube" audio!)
Sex toy news & upcoming toys

Jimmyjane Hello Touch X and Form 5

If it seems like it's been 5,000 years since Jimmyjane released something new, it has. Now, they have graced us with the Hello Touch X (rechargeable now, with an electrostim mode because uh?) and Form 5 (a weird mouth with flappy lips because uh?). 

Fun Factory BouncerThe Fun Factory Bouncer looks boring as fuck. But it actually has inner balls that roll around, like kegel beads or their B Balls. I am into this idea.

Tantus and SheVibe have teased us with some preliminary photos of uncut dildos they're collaborating on. Yes!

Hitachi Magic Wand rechargeable

Hallelu, there will soon be a rechargeable Hitachi Magic Wand! The new wand will have a silicone head, four vibration intensities, and can be used while plugged in. Oooh, ahhh.

Nexus has a few new products, including a rotating prostate massager and a remote controlled butt plug.

If you ever felt like your Fleshlight was too close to corpse temperature for comfort, you can now warm it up with this insert.
 
Pipedream's iSex line

I am continually laughing at Pipedream's new iSex line (I'm not linking because Pipedream). Calling something iSex and making it stark white is definitely ~up with the times~. All the toys are USB-powered, so you can stay tethered to your true lover (the computer) at all times.

A reader emailed me about this crowdfunding campaign surprised by "how not stupid" the accompanying video was. I love how low the bar has become.


Stupidest email(s) I received lately

This person messaged me after visiting my oft-ignored about.me page:
hi i like your page i market an promote sextoys maybe i have a few for you to try also do you have any video of yourself testing. lets grab coffee someday an chat more.
Yes, let's.


Links I've loved and of course, loathed

A comedian on feminist sex positions.

Best new Instagram account goes to fashiondads_.

This long, personal post from someone who experienced female genital mutilation is heartbreaking and important.

A cat was hit by a car and buried. Then he DUG HIMSELF OUT OF HIS GRAVE.

But don't worry, this cat has a neighbor cat friend who comes over every day to hang out.

That reality show where people compete to be porn stars has begun production and I am STOKED.

The CEO of Twitter admits that the company is useless when it comes to abusive and threatening tweets.

Speaking of which, here's how to talk to girls on Twitter without coming off like a creepy rando.

Dr. Phil with no dialogue, just reaction shots. I snorted.

What's Belladonna been up to since she left porn?

A very thorough guide on how to sell your underwear on the internet.
 
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