Is It You Or Is It Me?

We all, I think, have people who annoy us.  People around us who act incomprehensibly.  People who react or over-react in our view, to the circumstances they’re in.
Our first reaction to someone who is different from us, or who is acting in a way we wouldn’t is to say, “there’s something wrong with you.  A sane person wouldn’t do what you’re doing.  YOU are disturbing the balance of this relationship.  YOU are causing the disruption, the difficulty, the friction, not ME”.
Many of you will have learnt that DiSC helps us understand others.  Where they’re coming from and why they do what they do is much clearer when you understand what’s important to someone. 
There’s another couple of ways to look at this which might help.  It might really be the other person’s fault.  They might really, as my brother would say, “aggin’” you.  But what of it?  They’re still going to be there tomorrow, and the next day and the next.  Since you can’t make them change, you have to.  Try different things until the relationship improves or you’re no longer aggravated. 
Maybe it’s not about you at all.  When I had my first rejection from a job (which came as a great shock!), my mother told me “They probably gave it to a lady with 5 children, no husband and one leg”, meaning someone who needed the job much more than me.  We rarely now what others are dealing with.  Even if we do know of a difficulty in their personal lives, we can only imagine, never feel it the way they do.
I write this as much for me (Wendii) as I do for you.  To remind me, as well as you, to treat people with kindness because no matter the reason for the friction between us, it is ALWAYS lessoned with kindness and generous thought.  In business we sometimes forget.  Our numbers, our goals, our wages seem more important.  They’re not.  Be kind.  

London Conferences Now Open For Registration

We're returning to London twice in 2014: on January 27-28 and on September 29-30.  Join us for either our Effective Manager Conference on the first day, our Effective Communications Conference on the second day or come for both days!  If you register before December 31, 2013, we'll honor our 2013 prices of £995 for either single day and £1,695 to attend both days.  On January 1, 2014, our prices will increase to £1,100 and £1,800.  
At our EMC you'll learn and practice the Management Trinity:  One on Ones, Feedback, Coaching and Delegation.  At our ECC you'll learn and practice identifying difference communication styles and how to tailor your communication in order to be more effective.
All our London conferences will be held at the Radisson Blu Edwardian Heathrow.  We hope to see you in London!
Links to registration pages:  

no. 150 | 8 October 2013

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