Welcome to the September issue of our Helping Parents Heal Newsletter!  

Hello!  We are glad you have found us.  This newsletter is a space that allows us to share our amazing children. We are all in this together.  We understand and we walk the same path. Thank you for your compassion and for the constant support you provide.  Together, we will help each other heal! 

Once again, this month's newsletter contains stories of validation and spiritual growth.  We hope that it will bring some peace and comfort to you and your loved ones.  We have many new affiliate groups that are now available throughout the country.  There is information about upcoming meetings in this newsletter.  Photos and bios of all of our affiliate leaders are available on our website, www.helpingparentsheal.info.  

Sending love, light and warm memories to each one of you as you navigate this bittersweet time.  You are not alone.

-Elizabeth Boisson, Co-Founder and President of Helping Parents Heal, Newsletter Editor and Affiliate Leader for Phoenix/Scottsdale.

Special Three-Day Event at Unity of Phoenix!
After working in hospitals with many suffering and dying adults and children, Dr. Mark Pitstick was motivated to find sensible, evidence-based answers to the questions that many people ask:

• Who am I? Why am I here? Is there a God?
• What happens after I die?
• Will I see my departed loved ones again?
• Why is there so much suffering?

These experimental workshops address all of thee questions and will help you survive and thrive through life’s biggest changes and challenges, and discover how to enjoy the greatest life you have envisioned – no matter what your current circumstances!

To learn more and to purchase advance tickets, please go to the  Unity of Phoenix website.  Mark will also be speaking to Helping Parents Heal-Phoenix/Scottsdale at our monthly meeting on September 24th. Please click here to RSVP! 

REMINDER: 
Phoenix/Scottsdale August 27th Meeting with Jamie Clark- PLEASE JOIN US!
Psychic Medium Jamie ClarkJamie Clark and Mark Ireland after a recent Parents Meeting at Unity

Jamie Clark has always been a strong supporter of Helping Parents Heal.  Having him come to speak to our Parents on August 27th is a wonderful gift.  This is a great opportunity for any parent who would like to receive a validation from their son or daughter.  The cost of the meeting is a $5 'love donation' that is split equally between Jamie and Unity of Phoenix.  Although a validation is not guaranteed, Jamie works hard to bring through as many children as possible.  Hope to see all of you there-it will be a helpful, uplifting evening.  

I am so honored to be able to present to the Whole Family of Helping Parents Heal. Our loved ones are but a thought away from us and are always open to make a connection with you. One of my goals in doing what I do, is to bring closure to the old connection and a whole New beginning to the New one. Our loved ones want to connect with us, like we want to connect with them, and making your own connection is THE BIGGEST GIFT that you can give them and ourselves. As we learn to live with them in this new connection, you will begin to live life, rather than survive it. When we are surviving life, we tend to come from the bottom of the Heart and Soul, and when we are Living, we come from the FULLNESS of the Heart and Soul. So, let your Love shine and your Souls connect, because... it's truly all about LOVE!!!

Dr. Mark Pitstick and his book 'SoulProof'

Evolved Souls Don’t Need Long Earthly Lives
September 2015
by Mark Pitstick, MA, DC

Welcome to the Helping Parents Heal Q & A.  I recommend that you first read the articles that form a basis for my answers.  Links to those articles are at the bottom of the www.soulproof.com home page: Foundational Articles for Healing Your Suffering. 

Q: I'm new to this page and only fourteen months into my journey.  My twenty-one year-old daughter and her boyfriend were both taken in a horrible motorcycle accident. They had a son who was only fourteen months old at the time.  He is two years old now and my husband and I have custody of him.  Should we show him pictures and remind him of his parents? I don't know if he remembers them, but he points to pictures and says mommy and daddy.  I'm worried that we may not be doing things right. – Cheryl

A: I am sorry for the pain and sadness you have gone through, Cheryl.  No one would want to be this situation, but here you are.  Kudos for being sensitive about this and reaching out.  The bottom line?  There are no ‘right’ ways.  If you asked ten experts, you would get varying opinions.  So the best answer is what feels right for you and your husband.  

From an expanded viewpoint, your grandson still has a spiritual relationship with the souls of his mom and dad.  He is young enough to remember “the Other Side” that he just left and isn’t fully indoctrinated into thinking he is just a physical being.  He can probably detect their loving energetic presence even though he may not be able to verbalize that yet.

So my vote is to include his parents in his life.  Only their physical forms died; the other 99.999% of who and what they are is alive and well.  You can learn more about this fact in Foundational Article #7 on my website.  Talking about them, looking at photos, etc. will remind him and you that no one really dies.  This greater perspective will enrich everyone’s life and assist you all during other life changes.  

By the way, conscious language is so important in shaping how we feel and the degree to which we remember life’s big picture.  Your statement “both were taken” implies some outward force such as God decided they were to die.  Much evidence, however, indicates that death by “accidents” occurs a timely manner even though it appears like a horrible tragedy from a limited human perspective.  Try on “both passed on, both transitioned, both changed worlds” and see if that feels different.  

I’m honored to answer any questions that arise about this, but I’d say you have a good sense of what to do.  I hope you can see all this for what it is: an adventure that all of your souls agreed upon before coming to earth.  Blessings, Mark  

Q: I need some advice. My fourteen year-old son left us five years ago by suicide. Due to divorce and other changes, my home was foreclosed on and I need to move out in the next two months. This is the last place my son lived and there’s a memorial tree in the yard. How do I cope with saying goodbye in yet another way?  - Stacy

A: Oh my, Stacy, that’s a lot to go through.  I can only imagine how difficult the last five years have been and totally understand your question.  

Fortunately, there are always blessings to adversity and you have powerful resources within and around you.  Let’s consider how you can deal with this in style.  

First, it’s important to remember that only your son’s body left you.  The rest—all of the love, intelligence, spirit, and so on—is very near.  He is trying to let you know that he is sorry for leaving and all the ripples that followed: divorce, losing your house, etc.  He didn’t want to hurt anyone and hopes you all know that.  He is alive and well now in a realm without judgment or pain.  See Foundational Article #5 for more about this.  

Remembering the above will help you realize that your son’s essence is much bigger than a memorial tree.  He is everywhere now and not limited to the house and yard.  I understand that it’s one more change after many.  Anchors, like a backyard and memorial tree, remind us of our departed loved ones.  Those give us some comfort but now you must move on.  The blessing is that you now have an opportunity to realize how infinite and magnificent you, your son, and all people are.  

You may feel like you’ve been to hell and back and, in a sense, you have.  Life is giving you an opportunity to awaken to the great news that love and life are eternal.  If you can get through this, you will be such a bright light in the world.  That will bless you and others in many ways.  And that, my friend, is precisely why we, as souls, volunteer to go through such difficult scenarios.  

You could do something symbolic if you like.  Planting a new tree at your next home is one possibility.  Another is to take a case of apples to your local homeless shelter.  This gift of love honors your son and brings more meaning to your suffering. 

You must be a very brave soul to go through all this.  What love you must have to have contracted to demonstrate how strong and resilient spirit is.  You may also want to read Foundational Article #14 for additional information.  Be sure to surround yourself with loving and supportive family, friends, and others in Helping Parents Heal, a heart-centered church, and service organizations.  You don’t have to go through this by yourself.  Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Mark. 
 
Q:  My daughter Alyssa was in the hospital for four months straight and I was with her every day.  I was on my way to see her when I received her very last phone message and the last time she ever spoke to me.  She said "Mom, I just wanted to tell you that you don't need to come to the hospital today because I am going home! I wanted to let you know how much you mean to me and how I am so thankful to have a mom like you who spent everyday with me while I was in the hospital. I love you and I will see you soon." 

The next day, she nearly died and was flown to another hospital.  I saw her intubated and flailing all over the stretcher. It was a horrible sight.  I stood next to her and tried to calm her. The doctors told me I had to wait outside while they put in an arterial line. I did not want to leave her and had a bad feeling. But they insisted, telling me it would only take a moment and then I could come right back. 

I bent down and told Alyssa I had to go out to the waiting room, but I would be right back.  The look in her eyes still haunts me. She looked at me with such terror, like she did not want me to leave. I told them I could not leave her and they made me. I walked to the waiting area and never saw Alyssa alive again. 

I spent a very long time playing that scene over and over again and can’t forget the way she looked at me.  To this day, I can't forgive myself for not being there when she needed me the most. I was with her EVERY SINGLE operation, blood draw, exam, echo, biopsy, chest X-ray . . . but I was NOT THERE when she died. She DIED WITHOUT ME!!!  - Pamela

A: Pamela, I’m sure that everyone who reads your letter can feel the horrible pain and sadness, especially given the other details that we couldn’t fit into the newsletter.  Most people would feel severe grief in your situation and no one would blame you if you remained stuck in self-blame. 

But there is another way, a different path that you can take.  How do I know?  Because I’ve seen other parents work through this and come through stronger and wiser for the experience.  Others have found the silver linings and shared them with others.  Here are a few recommendations to move in that direction.  

First, read Foundational Article #6 to get an overview of some important facts to remember.  You are understandably very distraught and will need to see the bigger picture to come through this one.  We recently had a HPH meeting and a mother named Sandra shared that her daughter died of leukemia.  Three months later, her son ended his earth-experience because he was so distraught over his sister’s death.  

And yet, this woman shined with peace and love.  Sandra climbed into bed shortly after her daughter’s death and heard her voice from the foot of the bed.  “Mom, can you see me?”  Sandra replied, “I can hear you, but I can’t see you.”  Her daughter answered, “Then you need to get bigger eyes.”  

That phrase “get bigger eyes” will be the title of my next book because it really says it all.  Whenever we encounter tough times, are we looking through a pinhole of earthly limitation and focusing on fear, guilt, anger, and sadness?  Or are we seeing more of the big picture and focusing on gratitude, peace, and acceptance?  

The death of a young person—whether by illness, accident, suicide, or homicide—seems to be a horrible tragedy from a limited earthly perspective.  But how else can an evolved soul who has finished her earth lessons graduate from earth-school?  

Your sadness and pain will decrease as you focus more on other more positive emotions. Here’s the LET (as in the Beatle’s song Let It Be) formula for doing that:
L = look forward to being with your child again someday after you pass on and sensing her presence now with after-death contacts
E = elation and joy that she moved on from this difficult planet and is experiencing a much more wonderful realm right now
T = thankfulness for all the great times you two had together. You will always have those wonderful memories in your heart and there are many more to create.

I can understand why you have replayed that scene many times.  But maybe now you can replay happier times and peacefully anticipate seeing her again.  

Next, realize how blessed you are to have received such a wonderful “see you later” message from your daughter.  It’s as though she knew that she would be passing on soon and left you a beautiful message.  She was right: she was going Home but not to her earthly house.  She was going back to Heaven, the Other Side, the really real place where we spend much of eternity.  She also was 100% correct that she will see you soon, just a blink of an eye for her until your reunion.  It will, of course, seem longer to you since time feels different while on Earth. 

Also, the consciousness usually disengages well before the moment of death.   While she may have seemed responsive from a medical standpoint, her soul was already moving into the next phase of forever.  She was probably watching all of that from above and not feeling the pain and terror that you think she did.  She was already glimpsing the Light and seeing the welcoming committee of departed loved ones—people and pets—who were there to assist her transition. 

Finally, you two were obviously very close and that bond doesn’t end with physical death.  That means she is still affected by your emotional level.  She can’t fully enjoy her next phase of life as long as you are beating yourself up over what you could have or should have done.  By the way, if you find a way to go back in time, let me know.  I have a long list of things that, in hindsight, I would do differently.  But we can’t do that and living in the past just hurts you and your loved ones.  

Healing and transforming after a child passes is a like a journey: it starts with the first step, then one after another.  Let us know how we can help.  God bless, Mark

Q: I should be registering my son Devin for kindergarten but I won't ever be able to. My nine-year old daughter Piper is a year behind in school because I held her back due to the timing of my son’s death.  My six-year old son Dylan is starting to take not having Devin around really hard. He wanted to meet him, but I refused since Devin passed away shortly after birth. I'm sad that our family isn't complete. I've been sad for five long, painful years. I feel like I should have moved on, gotten over it, or not taken it as hard. I was robbed of a part of me and of his future. I didn't get to know him at all.  I desperately wish he was here. – Christina

A: Helping Parents Heal has two main focuses, Christina.  The first is support and understanding during a very difficult time.  We understand in ways that most people don’t and offer networking, education, and support. 

At the same time, we offer encouragement to look at the glass as half full, not half empty.  This viewpoint in offered in a spirit of love and wanting you and your family to heal.  Our feedback is not critical at all and we understand if you can’t see things in a more positive way yet.  But if you feel like you are ready to do that, here are a few suggestions: 

1. Remember that the soul of your son did not die, there was a reason why he passed on, and you will see him again.  Read Foundational Article #3 to more deeply realize that great news.  

2.  Realize that your two children need you now.  They both are still grieving too and will recover best when you do.  You didn’t mention a spouse but, if you are in a relationship, that person needs you as well.  The divorce rate is quite high after a child dies.  Perhaps you can bring more meaning to Devin’s passing by, moment to moment, focusing on your loved ones who are still on Earth.  

3. You deserve to feel happy and good again.  As you say, you feel that you should be doing better.  You aren’t because it’s very tough when a child dies, but I also suspect post-pregnancy and post-stress imbalances that are preventing you from coping better.  See Foundational Article #6, especially the part about brain and hormonal organ stress, and address any imbalances.  

I know Devin’s transition has impacted you and your family in what seem like negative ways.  But life has a way of springing back if we let it.  Ultimately, it’s a choice.  Each time you find yourself grieving or bemoaning what was, grab a higher feeling thought such as “I have two healthy children” or “I will see Devin again” or “someday I will understand why life turned out this way.”  Try it for just 30 days and see the difference in how you feel and function.  Love and Light, Mark 

Note: This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care.  Dr. Pitstick’s recommendations are based on his forty-three years of professional training and experience in hospitals, mental health centers, and holistic private practice. 
 
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, clinical psychologist, chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop leader who helps you know and show that—no matter what is going on around you—your earth-experience is a totally safe and magnificent adventure amidst forever.  You’ll receive access to interviews with top consciousness experts and a series of free articles addressing life’s toughest changes and challenges—including a child dying—when you sign up for his free newsletter at www.soulproof.com.  Email Mark at mark@soulproof.com to ask him your toughest and most challenging questions

-Dr. Mark Pitstick is a Board Member of Helping Parents Heal and an Affiliate Leader of our Columbus, Ohio HPH Group and our Sarasota, Florida HPH Group.

Words to Inspire from Ernie and Kristine Jackson

Affiliate Updates

Tracy Venters and her Dallas Affiliate
Tracy's Daughter, Jessica and her Granddaughter, Noelle 

Signs of Healing in Dallas

Some people see signs of their loved ones through feathers or coins found in their paths, lamps turned on, or they may experience a familiar, pleasant smell such as a favorite cologne. In my case, my beautiful daughter Jessica is more likely to send me a strange confliction of a song on top of a video that shouldn’t be there, causing me to spend frustrating minutes trying to debug the issue before realizing it’s her. She might send me a photo of herself with a weird background, or perhaps she’ll send me a foul odor.

Let me explain. Chuck Murphy, spiritual counselor and medium, has explained to me that people take their personalities with them to the other side; which means that Jessica is still the prankster she has always been. Several months ago I started noticing an overwhelming smell of incense at times and places where there was no logical explanation for it (such as driving down the street with the car windows rolled up). Eventually I realized this was Jessica letting me know she was near. The thing is, though, Jessica couldn’t stand going into an incense store at the mall or even one of those bath and body stores – I loved the strong scents but she didn’t. However once I got down the concept of a smell representing her presence she switched it to cigarette smoke (she smoked and I never liked that fact or the smell).

Recently I took my grandbaby (Jessica’s daughter) on a trip to Disneyland. I was really stressed having not traveled with a 3 year old in 23 years. When I went to pick her up the day before the trip, the apartment smelled terrible and I found out it was because the dog Jessica and my son-in-law had adopted from me had gotten out and attacked a skunk a few days before. So, over the next few days whenever I was particularly stressed about packing, boarding the plane with the little one or keeping up with her at Disney, Jessica overpowered me with the skunk smell to say “you got this mom, I am here”. Thanks, Jess! All with her signature laugh and the twinkle in her eye.

I am really excited to announce Chuck Murphy will be our speaker at our September 8 meeting for our Helping Parents Heal group in the Dallas area. Chuck is a gifted medium and spiritual counselor. He will be talking to us about the ways in which we can look for signs from our loved ones, which, as my story shows are not always in the ways you might expect!

This will be our third meeting of the group and its really starting to come together. In the August meeting we had so many loving connections, new friendships made, stories shared. Some tears were shed but there were also some laughs, and most of all hope that comes in knowing we are all in this together. The path forward is not an easy one. Angle dates in the group ranged from just three months ago to over 10 years ago.

In October we also have a great speaker combo scheduled. Shannon Maxey is also a gifted medium and Graham Maxey is an internationally recognized expert in Induced After Death Communications. He recently returned from training a group of therapists in Turin, Italy on IADC.

I am thrilled that although we are just getting started we have been able to line up some very gifted healers to donate their time to help us heal. They all agree on how much this group is needed here.

If you are in the Dallas area I hope you can join us. We have a local website for more information where you can also sign up for event reminders www.hphdallas.com. We hope to see you there!

Irene Vouvalides and her Hilton Head/Bluffton Affiliate 
Carly and Irene

I lost my best friend, my only child, my beautiful 24 year old daughter Carly Elizabeth Hughes to esophageal-gastric cancer on February 17th, 2013. Like so many of us who have experienced this devastating loss my daughter's passing sent me on a spiritual quest. I have found friends and comfort through this remarkable group Helping Parents Heal. In the short time since Carly's passing I have had definite proof that consciousness survives physical death, that Carly is well,and with me always. I have been fortunate to speak with mediums who were able to provide absolute evidence in the afterlife, indisputable information relayed bringing comfort and helping to lighten the heavy weight of grief.

-Written by our Hilton Head /Bluffton affiliate leader, Irene Vouvalides

Tiffany Rose and the New Sedona, Arizona Affiliate
Tiffany Aurora Rose

We are happy to announce that we now have an affiliate in beautiful Sedona, Arizona!  Our affiliate leader is Tiffany Rose, a member of our parent group who is also a close friend of Psychic Medium Heather Hunter.  Please read Tiffany's bio below.  She will start holding meetings at Unity of Sedona in October-we will keep you updated for the date and time! Please also read Tiffany's validation story in the right-hand column.  

Tiffany Rose is a Massage Therapist, Energy Practitioner and Mother of three. Tiffany’s daughter Savannah passed away in 2002 when she was four months old. Her passing began a road of healing, growth and spirituality for Tiffany. On this path Tiffany found: God, herself, the afterlife, reincarnation and her life’s purpose.  She is now sharing her own experiences with the grief process and wants to be able to help other parents who are suffering the loss of a child. Tiffany is enrolled to become a Spiritual Grief Counselor. Tiffany currently lives and gives healing sessions in beautiful Sedona, Arizona.

Helpful, Healing Books-
Dr. Mark Pitstick and his new book, 'The Eleven Questions-Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Life, Death, and Afterlife'

This book is a wonderful compilation of many answers concerning life's most difficult questions. Here is information about this helpful, healing work:  

Have you ever stared at the ceiling - or the stars and wished for sensible answers to life’s biggest questions? After working with many suffering and dying adults and children, Mark searched for 40 years. His and the guests’ answers can help you enjoy your earth-experience with more peace, clarity, wisdom, and empowerment right now. 

The guests: 
Raymond Moody, PhD, MD; Caroline Myss, MA; Anita Moorjani, Bernie Siegel, MD; Stan Grof, MD, PhD; Gary Schwartz, PhD; Bill Guggenheim, P.M.H. Atwater, LHD; Marilyn Schlitz, PhD; Karen Wyatt, MD; Mark Anthony, JD 

The Questions 
1. Who am I? 
2. Why am I here? 
3. What happens after I die? 
4. Is there a God/Higher Power/Source? 
5. Why is there suffering? 
6. Will I see my departed loved ones again? 
7. Are there ghosts and evil spirits? 
8. What happens to the soul/life-force of people who commit suicide? 
9. How can I best hear my inner self’s voice and know my highest purposes? 
10. How can I evolve beyond earlier religious teachings that don’t make sense to me now? 
11. How can this information help me deal with my toughest challenges and make the world a better place? 

This work offers a succinct, easy-to-read  guide to living our lives with more meaning and less heartache.  The answers that the guests share can be quite different, but as Mark explains, "A more informed world-view can only result in enhanced growth, compassion and harmony."  

The Helping Parents Heal website lists many good books about grief that have been read and recommended by other bereaved parents.  Please click this link to view the different books.  Also, please email your own favorite healing books so that we can possibly add it to the list.  The address is:  boissonelizabeth@gmail.com.   

Sheri’s Corner-

Wisdom and Quotes from The East Coast