Welcome to the Mid-June issue of our Helping Parents Heal Newsletter!
We are glad you have found us. This newsletter is a space that allows us to share our amazing children. We are all in this together. We understand and we walk the same path. Thank you for your compassion and for the constant support you provide. Together, we will help each other heal! Once again, this month's newsletter contains stories of validation and spiritual growth. We hope that it will bring some peace and comfort to you and your loved ones.
As you know, our newsletter has become too lengthy to publish just once a month. Therefore, we will be publishing a second issue that will be devoted to the new column by Dr. Mark Pitstick,'Evolved Souls Don't Need Long Earthly Lives'. If you would like to ask a question, please email Mark at Mark@SoulProof.com.
This issue features the second in our series of articles, 'Through the Eyes of a Sibling - Surviving the Passing of a Loved One'. If you would like to contribute to this helpful, healing column, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
We are happy to introduce three new affiliate chapters that will start meetings throughout the country; in Columbus Ohio, in Sarasota Florida and in Dallas, Texas. The affiliate leaders of these groups are dedicated to making the road to healing an easier place.
Sending love, light and warm memories to each one of you as you navigate this bittersweet time. You are not alone.
-Elizabeth Boisson, Co-Founder and President of Helping Parents Heal, Newsletter Editor and Affiliate Leader for Scottsdale/Phoenix.
Visit our Events Page on Facebook.
Dr. Mark Pitstick and his book 'SoulProof'
Evolved Souls Don’t Need Long Earthly Lives
Welcome to the Helping Parents Heal Q & A. I recommend that you read the foundational articles that form a basis for my answers. Links to those are located at the bottom of my website home page www.soulproof.com under Soul Proof Articles. You can also read them on the Helping Parents Heal website under Healing Articles by Dr. Pitstick.
May 2015 Q & A
by Mark Pitstick, MA, DC
Q: My 23 year-old son hung himself last year. You say I will be with him in spirit again someday, but that's not really a comfort to me. I don't want to be some speck of energy next to my son. I want to hug him, have fun with him, joke around like we used to.
If God is so loving, how could He be so cruel to give me this child that I carried for nine months, watched him grow for twenty-three years, and loved him more everyday . . . only to be taken away from me and change my life forever?
He was my whole world. I will never be the same. I will never be happy again. I have no one to talk to about this because they either don't want to hear it or they just don't care. So I isolate myself and constantly try to figure out why my son would kill himself. – Debra
A: Debra, this is a very tough one. No one is denying that. And yet, you have the ability to turn this—at least from an earthly perspective—horrible tragedy into a giant victory and blessing. You can sense his presence now or continue to live in darkness. Which fork in the road will you choose?
When we drop our bodies, we’re not just specks of energy. We are everything we are now and much more. When you cross over, you and your son can have physical appearing bodies for as long as you want and need. You can hug for 2000 years—and even hug until your arms fall off—but, at some point, you’ll get caught up and will be ready to do something else. That’s when you can explore the other 99.9% of who you are and who he is.
By the way, it’s an illusion that we are just physical bodies while on Earth. In truth, we are beings of energy and light with mostly space in between whirling atoms. It just appears that we are solid beings because our brains and senses are so limited in perceiving the wholeness of reality. While in a physical realm, people usually become so identified with and enamored of the body, but that’s a mere fraction of who and what you and everyone else are.
So if you enjoyed hugging and being with your son in this temporary and illusory place, wait until you experience your reunion in the really real place.
As for your question, “If God is so loving . . . “ please read the following articles to remind your self about who and what God and humans are. Then reexamine your question.
- What Is God Really Like?
- The Nature of Humans
- Why Did God Take My Child?
After reading these, you’ll hopefully recall that you and your son are part of God. You, as souls, likely planned for an eventuality like his suicide. That doesn’t mean it was fated or predetermined, but that you both knew that there was a likelihood of that occurring. Read this article to learn more about the possible reasons why he might have ended his earth-experience: When a Loved One Dies From Suicide
Finally, your last paragraph is so full of gloom and doom . . . no wonder you feel so low if you are thinking like this each day. I’m not criticizing, but I am reminding you about what you—at your core—already know: “you reap what you sow; as you think, so shall you be.” So please, for yourself and the world, begin to upgrade your language, join a bereaved parent’s group, attend an open-minded, love and service-based church, take a walk in nature, do anything to begin ascending from your self-induced hell.
Below is an excerpt from a bereaved parent’s recent FaceBook post. It’s a great example of how you can honor your son’s life in some way.
My beautiful daughter Christina passed away tragically and unexpectedly at the age of 22. She had a beautiful smile and her face glowed. Everyone she met instantly fell in love with her. Chrissy was a gifted artist and photographer. She loved the outdoors and being in nature. She has a kind and gentle soul who made people gravitate to her. In order to ensure her legacy lives on, I decided to form a non-profit in her memory. We want to share her beauty and to raise awareness for Unity Wellness Center, a haven for artists.
Starting a non-profit foundation is just one way to honor your son’s life and start to regain yours. You could serve others in a community soup kitchen and silently think your son’s name every time you help those in need.
The next parent’s post illustrates the power of focusing on gratitude for the time you had together.
My son Jorden died at age 12 due to complications from being born with a neurological condition called Polymicrogyria. His brain did not form properly and he required around the clock care. Even though he had many health issues he was the light of our lives. He never spoke a word but his smile and laughter said everything he needed to say.
This mother’s focus is astounding. Her son needed constant care, had brain damage, and never said a word. And yet she saw his light and was grateful for her short time with this special soul. You can focus on the glass being half-full as well. It’s a moment-to-moment decision.
Debra, you deserve to feel happy again and your son wants that too. And the world needs your greatest gifts and light shining again. Keep in touch and let me know how it’s going, please. Blessings, Mark
Q: I lost my son Dadier 5 years ago. There are days that the pain is so strong. It’s a different kind of pain—a parent’s grief. It should not happen this way. I am sorry for everyone’s loss. My deepest condolences to all parents and their family and friends. My love and respect to you all from the bottom of my heart. Together, we will keep strong. I may not know you, but I love you all. My question Is, “How strong are we?”
A: Wow, way to be strong, Sandra. I was deeply touched by your expressions of love and caring to other bereaved family and friends. Here are a few loving and caring comments about your note.
First, great job taking in the high road and keeping your heart open despite the pain and sadness. Your sentence, “I may not know you, but I love you all” is a beautiful example of how suffering can unite us in love.
Next, you did not lose your son even though it appears that way. He is very near; that’s why you can feel his presence at times. “Lose” means you never see someone again, but that’s not the case with Dadier. It’s as though he’s living in another country and you just can’t see him for a while. But someday you will see each other again. So try to drop the word ‘lose’ and instead use, “my son Dadier passed on/graduated/transitioned/ changed worlds.” Those terms more accurately describe what really happened and will make you feel better.
Finally, I love your question “How strong are we?” You’re question highlights one of the main reasons why we, as souls, choose to endure suffering. Tough times build spiritual muscles just as heavy weights build physical muscles. That’s why you hear sayings like, “That which does not kill me makes me stronger” or “the strongest metals have endured the hottest fires.” It’s true.
Suffering the death of a child can help you grow in ways that aren’t possible if life is free and easy. It’s a great deal when you remember four things:
1. This earthly life—even if you live to 100—is just a blink of an eye in the span of eternity
2. No one really dies. Just the physical body ends. The other 99.999% of Dadier is alive and well.
3. We each are part of God/Source Energy/the Light right now and always will be. As such, what really can go wrong?
4. You, as a soul, chose to be his mother and knew that you would likely go through significant suffering as a result. And you, as a soul, also knew it would be worth it for the growth and service that resulted.
I hope you can remember the big picture, at least a little, because it makes all the difference in the world. Love and Light, Mark
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, clinical psychologist, chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop leader who helps you know and show—no matter what is going on around you—that you are an important and infinite part of Source Energy/God/Universe. Visit his websites at www.soulproof.com and www.radiantwellness.com for free articles, radio shows, e-mail newsletters, and special reports. For more information about his workshops, visit www.soulproof.com/workshops. Email email@example.com to ask your toughest and most challenging questions.
Editor's Note: Mark will be starting a new affiliate group in Columbus Ohio with co-leaders Teri Simonds Snyder, Lavaughn Margraff and Lee Rowley. Their meetings will be at Unity of Columbus 4211 Maize Rd, Columbus, OH 43224 www.unityofcolumbus.org on the first Wednesday of each month 7 - 9pm. Please click here to RSVP for the August 5th meeting. Mark will also be starting an affiliate in Sarasota, Florida with co-leader Bob Langfelder in October. They will also be meeting at Unity Church.
Helping Parents Heal Affiliate Groups and their Facilitators (by alphabetical order):
Jennifer Amato Tom’s Creek, NJ
After the passing of Jennifer's 2 year old son Joey, Jennifer found support from other bereaved parents. She is now finding healing in helping other bereaved parents learn to cope with their loss. Jennifer and Christine are co-hosts for Tom’s River.
Tina Babloski-Anderson Citrus County FL
Tina Babloski-Anderson is a grieving mother who has learned to laugh again since the loss of her son Paul G. Babloski on October 1st, 2009. Her efforts to find comfort have led her on a journey that has not only helped to heal herself, but to bring smiles on the faces of other grieving parents. Tina said, "There is no one here in Citrus County, Florida that could understand the loss of a child, except for another parent that has experienced the same pain. So, we formed a group that supports and celebrates each other’s children. We find that by supporting each other, we can learn to laugh again.
Elizabeth Boisson-Scottsdale, AZ
Since the passing of her son Morgan at the Base Camp of Mount Everest due to acute altitude sickness on a student trip to Tibet in October 2009, Elizabeth has held monthly parent meetings in Arizona. She founded both the Facebook site, ‘Parents United in Loss’ in February, 2010 and then partnered with Mark Ireland to co-found ‘Helping Parents Heal’ in February 2012. She cherishes the opportunity to meet both parents and their children in spirit.
Kristen Brown-Sanders Pensacola, FL
Kristen Brown-Sanders started The Next Step group in FL in January 2010 after her beloved daughter Sarah transitioned due to a distracted driver. The Next Step linked in with Helping Parents Heal in 2012.
NEW GROUP - Lancy Carr-Washington DC
I have lived in Arizona since 1983. I met Karla Kay at Bikram yoga Tempe which I started doing shortly after Nathan passed away. She told me about an event and I met Linda West, the first psychic exposure for me! It healed my heart a little and made me want to learn more. I also met Justine Schrimsher at that meeting and she told me about HPH. The first meeting I knew this is what would work for me. I have enjoyed all the support, love and hope that is shared at every meeting. I got a new job in DC in Dec 2013 and I now want to not only support this wonderful non-profit, as it has given me so much help in my grief, but to help others heal as well.
Nancy Courtmanche-Eureka, CA
The loss of my son Robb, 29, has made me painfully aware of the need for parents to have a group setting that is safe and confidential. Healing occurs. Out of my loss I dedicated myself to service for others in volunteer Hospice patient care and grief support, as a Hospital Chaplain, and healing work. This has prepared me to lead an HPH group now.
Janice Crowder-Torrez-Tucson, AZ
Wanting to honor her son’s spirit, courage, and the many gifts he left behind, Janice discovered Helping Parents Heal in Scottsdale, AZ. Opening the door for other parents to grieve their loss, while offering support to small groups, Janice decided to start a chapter in Tucson where she resides and her son Anthony, aged 31, took his life. Janice is a MSN and certified in Meditation.
NEW GROUP-Lori Fina Jennings-Cape Coral, FL
My son died at age 30 of a drug overdose. My surviving daughter has Down Syndrome. Life has blessed me with so many unique gifts & learning opportunities. I'd like to "be there" for people as my son was. My book, Liam's Lessons, was written with the help of my son shortly after he died. Practicing Isha Yoga has been my saving grace.
Sheryl Hill-Minneapolis, Minnesota
Tyler, my beautiful sixteen year old son, died a preventable death on a People to People Student Ambassador Trip to Japan in 2007. My most important achievements are being a mother, a wife, nonprofit endeavors with the Clear Cause Foundation (to keep American children and students safe on foreign soil) and perhaps my work as an author. I did not lose the ones I love who have passed. I know where they are.
Julia LaJoie-Washington DC
I joined Helping Parents Heal in April of 2012 when I met Mark Ireland, Anne Puryear and Elizabeth Boisson at a conference in Phoenix, AZ on After Death Communication. There were many parents like myself who had lost a child and had discovered the healing that comes from ADC and other forms of spiritual growth. I am eager to join hands and hearts with other parents in the Baltimore - Washington area to grow our network and support each other in healing and spiritual growth.
NEW GROUP - Paige Lee-Boise, Idaho
Paige is a Speaker, Coach, and Reiki practitioner and owns Crystal Soul Healing Center in Boise Idaho. Paige is dedicated to helping people who have experienced a profound loss, especially the loss of a child, face and release their emotions and find a way to joyfully connect with their loved one in Spirit. Her spiritual awakening came abruptly and forcefully after her only child, Bryan, was murdered in September 2008. Just as the only world she’d ever known was shattered, a new world opened. A world filled with Hope, Spirit, and Love; a world that allowed her not only to continue having a relationship with her son, but a world that opened her own true self into being.
Patti May- Ottawa, Ontario
I am a mother of 3 wonderful children, married 30 years to their father.I lost my son Adam in 2006 in a tragic auto accident. Since losing my son I have had afterlife signs that have helped me. I began to search for like-minded parents to share our experiences. I came across the wonderful
group Helping Parents Heal and asked if I could start a group here in Canada.
Jessalyn Nash- Sonoma County, CA
Jessalyn Nash, M.A. has facilitated groups for over 25 years and is involved in the restorative justice movement. After her beloved 21-year-old son, Trystan passed away, Jessalyn has dedicated herself to helping other grieving parents.
NEW GROUP - Glenda Pearson-Granger, IN
Glenda is a Reiki Master, Munay Ki practitioner, intuitive guide, Stephen's Minister, author and Certified Grief Recovery Method Specialist. Reflected in her book, But Should The Angels Call For Him, she speaks of her personal loss through the death of her only child, Chad, and believes there is healing for everyone.
Maria Pe - San Diego
Maria Pe, J.D., is the mother of Sean Robert and Kyle Joseph, her two sons who transitioned to the other side on June 21, 2011. That day was the beginning of Maria’s profound spiritual journey to find out where her sons went and how she could continue to have a relationship with them. Having been educated in Western culture and trained as an attorney, Maria was skeptical and had no idea where to turn for the information and answers she was seeking. She was guided to a shamanic practitioner who taught her how to raise her consciousness and energy levels through meditation so that she could connect with her sons. She began keeping a written journal of her experiences which culminated in her book, Journey To The Upper Realm: How I Survived the Deaths of My Sons and Learned to Communicate With Them on the Other Side (free at www.seanandkyleimaginefund.com and in hard copy on Amazon). By sharing and talking about her own experience, she hopes to help other bereaved parents.
Sheri Perl-New York, NY
Sheri Perl Migdol is a spiritual healer, an interfaith minister, an author, lecturer and mother of 3 children, one deceased. Sheri is the founder of The Prayer Registry, a free service for all bereaved parents. www.sheriperl.com.
NEW GROUP - Dr. Mark Pitstick, Columbus Ohio
email: firstname.lastname@example.org (please see Mark's information above)
Christine Volpe-Tom’s Creek NJ
After the passing of her 17 year old son, James, due to a vehicle accident Christine has spent countless hours helping other bereaved parents. She is devoted to help other parents find tools to help them in their grief. Christine and Jennifer are co-hosts for Tom’s River.
NEW GROUP - Tracy Venters-Dallas, TX
email: email@example.com (please see Tracy's bio in the right-hand column)
NEW GROUP - Irene Vouvalides-Hilton Head, SC
I lost my 24 year old daughter to esophageal - gastric cancer on February 17, 2013. She was my best friend, my only child. I have been on a spiritual quest since, reading constantly, writing about my life. I have had two sessions with George Anderson and had a phone session with Laurie Campbell. Having recently moved to South Carolina, I am very interested in connecting with other parents here. So happy to find and read Mark Ireland's books and have also taken great comfort in reading Dr Brian Weiss's books.
Laura Wilmot-Fall’s Church, VA
A retired federal HR Director, Laura taught Mexican Folk dance to children and adults and performed Mariachi music with her family for several years. She “connects up” to her son through meditation and prayer.
Please contact Elizabeth Boisson (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you would like to start an affiliate chapter in your area.
Sending peace, love and white light to you & your beautiful children