New on The Resilience Blog:
Stuck in Overcare? How to Move Forward When You Feel Slammed
If you watched any of the World Series this year, you know what a nail-biter it was. Scores swung wildly from one win to the next. No sooner had the Royals started looking dominant, the Giants came back – only to get skunked. The wild gyrations continued until Game 7 when the Giants came back yet again to clinch their third Championship in 5 years.
In the midst of all the highs and the lows, it got me thinking about some of the work I do in helping people to master emotional regulation and learn resilience.
“Maybe I can play with my own emotional regulation,” I thought, “and see if I can watch from a non-judgmental perspective – still care and root for the Giants but not go down the proverbial rabbit hole.”
And you know what? It was hard! What I noticed is how easy it is to slide into the state of being what HeartMath founder Doc Childre calls “overcare.” It’s when care becomes stressful or depleting. We become less effective, anxious, overprotective, defensively righteous. We literally leak energy.
Overcare is the road to burnout.
But it’s not necessarily something to push away. Recognizing and appreciating overcare for what it is reveals much. The very fact it exists is a sign that our hearts want to practice true care and love...